Social Media Cheating
Are you cheating on your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend?
Of course not, you might say a little defensively.
You haven’t done anything wrong. Or have you?
What about “social media” cheating?
- What Is Cheating on Social Media?
- Why Is Infidelity on Social Media a Very Serious Problem?
- Is Your Partner Social Media Cheating?
- On What Social Media Are Spouses Most Likely to Cheat?
- Top 10 Social Media Habits That Are Technically Cheating
- Do Social Media Ruin Marriages?
- How to Catch Someone Who Is Cheating on Social Media
- Steps You Can Take
- FAQ
- What to Do If This Page Resonates with You
The first thing we need to define is what it means to cheat. Usually, we think of cheating as a sexual liaison outside of a relationship. That’s an easy, common definition. But what about a situation wherein we exchange more than pleasantries with someone else? Do you find yourself following that person’s posts on Facebook, admiring their Instagram photos, or checking comments on their Twitter posts? Why is social media problematic for relationships? Let’s take a deep dive.
What Is Cheating on Social Media?
Here is a little litmus test you can try. How do you feel when you get a message, a cute picture on Tiktok, or a DM from a particular person? Here is the test part: are you willing to hand your phone to your spouse or partner and show them what it says?
If your answer is “No, I don’t want to show them,” you have a little problem. So keep reading and find out what to do next.
People often wonder: is it okay to “like” a person’s photo? Can chatting be considered cheating? If you flirt a little and delete conversations, is that wrong?
Social networks are a highly convenient place to form an intimacy with other people. Life without intimacy is boring and unfulfilling. It occurs when people connect emotionally – when they share laughter, sadness, or personal thoughts. They may have common tastes and finally, they’re together. If we aren’t finding intimacy with our partner, odds are, we will look for it elsewhere. Behold the power of Facebook, Tinder, Twitter, Snapchat, Telegram, Instagram, and WhatsApp, where you can engage with a staggering number of people – and find intimacy.
Is “liking” someone’s photo cheating?
It can be a little vague. Why do you need to “like” it? How would you feel if your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend “liked” someone’s photo?
Is chatting with someone online cheating?
Well, are you comfortable reading what you wrote aloud to your special someone? If not, draw a conclusion yourself.
Does flirting count as cheating?
You have to be careful when saying provocative things, even online. Sometimes this can take things very far.
Do you have secret online accounts?
If you have secret social profiles that you do not show your partner, that’s a dangerous sign. This means you are looking for something that you are missing behind the back of your loved one.
Your special person has deleted their social media accounts?
It makes sense if they decide to do an online detox so they can spend more time with you. If they behave suspiciously, be careful – maybe they are trying to hide from someone.
Who is your spouse “friending?”
You and your partner should feel comfortable seeing who your friends are in your socials. It is a matter of mutual respect and a healthy relationship.
Are you spending a lot of time virtually?
If a phone or computer replaces real-life interactions with people, it doesn’t translate well into relationships with loved ones.
Why Is Infidelity on Social Media a Very Serious Problem?
Relationships, in all honesty, require hard work. Sometimes it seems as if not a day goes by that you don’t fight, grumble, or have “difficult conversations.” Aren’t there times when you just want to relax and don’t have to try so hard? As it was when you met your spouse or partner and in the early days of your relationship. Socials offer us the opportunity to feel it all again.
Some might just call it flirting and say it isn’t harmful. However, flirting might lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations. And what happens next? We establish a bond with someone who isn’t our spouse or partner. And we know that we shouldn’t do it. However, it’s addictive, that wave of approval, attention, and feeling that you matter to somebody. This person asked me how my day was, congratulated me on a work thing, and remembered a book I liked. They listened! They actually care. These are all things that should happen in a healthy relationship in real life. It’s the social media relationship that is actually the problem.
Is Your Partner Social Media Cheating?
In a recent survey, 47 % of Facebook users admitted that they “emotionally cheated” online. That’s a pretty large percentage, isn’t it? There are some common signs indicating you should keep your eyes peeled:
- your spouse or partner is secretive about their phone or computer
- they receive a lot of messages
- your partner seems distant
- a certain name pops up a lot
If your partner or spouse isn’t sharing those messages readily, that may also be a sign of a problem.
Is every dubious situation a “cheating” situation? Of course not – there are online relationships that are purely platonic. Some people never even see each other. It’s just a place where they can talk. But why not talk to your partner instead of a stranger?
On What Social Media Are Spouses Most Likely to Cheat?
Facebook is one of the most popular social media and networking sites. Here, you can create a profile, share photos and information, and react to others’ posts.
For many, online media is basically a convenient platform for connecting with people outside of their relationships. If your spouse doesn’t want you to see their chats, it’s easy enough for them to ask their paramour to switch to private conversation mode on another site or app.
Top 10 Social Media Habits That Are Technically Cheating
#1 Pictures
Is your spouse or partner posting pictures with a “come-hither” look? Hmm. Maybe, you should ask why they do that if they are in a committed relationship.
#2 Checking status
If a person in a relationship is checking someone’s status, it could be simple curiosity. But if this happens often, then it becomes alerting.
#3 Comments
Everyone has the right to post comments online, even if they have a spouse or are dating someone, as long as they are appropriate. It’s a red flag if your spouse or partner is on the defensive after you start asking questions.
#4 Secrets
One of the most intimate things you can do is to tell a person a secret. If you or your spouse are telling your online “friends” secrets, you are in dangerous territory.
#5 Disappearing messages
How about using “disappearing messages” or deleting your search history? Uh-oh. If you feel unable to be transparent, it is time for some introspection.
#6 Fake names
Fake names are a dead giveaway. Why use a fake name? Is there something to hide?
#7 Emotional support
You are the person to whom your partner should turn for emotional support. Period. If your partner is confiding in someone else, that’s a problem. If you find out that this is occurring, you really need to bring it up.
#8 Lots of pictures
Posting lots of pictures can serve as a way to get attention or as a hidden message to someone your partner is secretly chatting with.
#9 Emojis
Emojis are handy little things, useful for expressing emotions without a lot of typing that help to connect. Sorry, but emojis count. A well-placed, tiny emoji can convey a bucketload of feelings. They aren’t harmless; they have become a significant part of communication.
#10 Spicy Messages
There should be boundaries about things that are said. If you allow your messages to be a bit spicy, it’s not guaranteed that you will be able to stop in time. If it feels inappropriate, it likely is.
Do Social Media Ruin Marriages?
Besides the fact that social media features tons of content, it provides a place where we can connect with interesting and attractive people. If things are already rough in your relationship, it can be a haven for relaxation. There are also so many opportunities here to connect with former flames, crushes, and exes.
20%
Percentage of married cheating men in the United States according to the Social Survey (GSS).
40%
of women are prone to emotional cheating.
10%
The number of adultery cases on the Internet.
6/10
According to NBC statistics, most people are unaware of their partner’s infidelity.
The social media cheating statistics are depressing, with 41% of surveyed adults admitting they have been engaged in such activity.
Think about how you present yourself in social networks. You take your time to compose witty, intelligent, and engaging conversations. You choose only the best photos to make you look better than in real life. In short, it ain’t the real you, and that person you are chatting with isn’t who you think, either. Wouldn’t it be better to be your authentic self? Why be a deceiving spouse?
If your wife is busy “liking” another person’s photo on Instagram, or if your husband is flirting with someone on Facebook, the non-cheater is going to become jealous, insecure, and eventually angry and hurt. What starts out as an innocent chat may lead to major problems that will put marriage in jeopardy.
How to Catch Someone Who Is Cheating on Social Media
Online cheating hurts, just like real-life infidelity. Before you go collecting damning evidence, maybe a better tact is to have a conversation with your partner, such as:
“I’m feeling a little funny about your cell phone use. You seem to be chatting with someone, and I am feeling left out. I would really like to clear the air. If we are having a problem, let’s work through it.”
“Catching” someone is going to be painful. What are some signs?
- Well, having a passcode may be one. You are supposed to have a bond of trust, so they should have no problem revealing their passcode.
- Some people leave their phones all over the place. But others keep them close at all times. Does your partner have multiple phones?
- Nighttime use is another sign. This is a perfect, natural time for intimacy. With whom are they chatting? Why do they wait until you go to sleep?
- Does your partner or spouse smile or laugh a lot when using their phone? That can be a dead giveaway that intimacy is occurring where it shouldn’t be.
Should you examine your partner/spouse’s phone? A David Sedaris quote springs to mind: “If you read someone’s diary, you get what you deserve.” A better approach is an attempt at a clear-the-air conversation. If trust has been broken, it can be repaired.
Steps You Can Take
Putting an end to online cheating is not easy. It’s truly addictive. There is real excitement in seeing that message, picture, or DM that reminds you that someone cares. It’s an escape, and it feels good. You don’t want to stop, but you should. It’s wrong, and you already know that.
The next time you decide to check on your crush, try turning your attention to your spouse or partner instead. Do something nice for them. Rub their neck, make a fire and talk, try a new wine, or cook together. Do something real.
Social networks can be useful and fun. It’s a great way to stay in touch with people. When it comes to relationships, it’s tricky. Don’t let it ruin the real thing.
FAQ
Cheating is engaging intimately with another person via a social media platform or app. You may exchange photos, posts, messages, videos, or chat. However, it is not done transparently.
If you have access to her socials, look for a name that pops up frequently. If she seems to be utilizing her phone or computer frequently, ask who she is talking to.
Possibly. If it is unnecessary, and if it happens frequently, it’s likely to be problematic.
Yes. Why flirt with someone, if you are in a committed relationship?
What to Do If This Page Resonates with You
If you are the one wooing someone outside of your current relationship don’t flog yourself. You’re human. As noted above, this is a common problem. However, if you value your current relationship, maybe it’s time to take stock and think about the future with your partner. Are there any problems and can they be worked out? Do you need the assistance of a professional?
If you are the person being cheated on, this is also a tough situation. You may need to look at the Big Why. Why is your partner cheating? Are you a difficult person to be around? Are you hard to talk with? Do you take the time to work on your relationship? These are difficult questions and they need to be asked. There is always plenty of blame to go around when relationships are troubled.
No relationship is perfect. The thrill you feel when getting to know someone does fade away with time. However, if you do the work, that excitement does change into something deeper than an online fling can offer.
Sometimes, it’s just a matter of revisiting the things that drew you to each other in the first place.