How can one put a face to unfaithfulness? The simple answer is that you can’t. Just as you’ve been conditioned to not judge a book by its cover, it’s nearly impossible to look at someone’s face and, with a single look, recognize them as a cheater. The sad truth is, just about anyone can cheat on their partner. While you should not base your verdict on the type of stereotypical cheats that you see portrayed in Hollywood movies, there are some very common behavioral traits that cheaters share. If you see any of these signs of a cheating spouse flying in front of you, chances are your partner is up to something.

Common Characteristics of Cheating Spouses

Characteristics of a Cheating Spouse

Cheating is the act of one partner seducing the other, and it is a big problem in relationships. It isn’t just about sex, though that’s certainly a part of it. Cheaters are proud and arrogant, in many cases, they are insecure and use any means to gain power over their partner. They will lie, cheat, steal and make up things to cover their tracks. And they need to because they cannot have sex with someone who is not interested in them (even when they aren’t).

13 Signs That Your Spouse Is Cheating

Finding out that someone you love is having an affair can be devastating. It may feel as though you will never fall in love with anyone else again. If your partner is being unfaithful, you may be struggling to understand why especially if you thought they were happy and your relationship seemed healthy on the surface. 

a couple kissing on a city street

According to a recent study, an online survey was conducted asking people who cheated their reason for doing it. The study cut across both heterosexuals and homosexuals, and men and women. According to the study, below are key signs of cheating spouses that drive people in seemingly happy relationships cheat on their partners:

1. Poor Sense Of Responsibility

Research has shown that people who are likely to cheat on their partners are also prone to having a poor sense of responsibility. They also tend to avoid honoring their commitments. Sadly, this means that they will not fulfill their promises and they won’t think twice before letting their family and friends down. So, watch out for people with unstable job histories, who have fines and break the law, and who blame others for the things that happen to them.

2. Small Behavioral Changes

It’s more about changes in behavior and not just one change. You might notice changes in the way they use their cell phones, and how they don’t ever let you touch them, even though before they used to leave it on the table carelessly. They might become more secretive, and they may believe that they need to do more exercise. Ultimately, they will change enough for you to take notice.

3. Credit and Phone Bills Go Missing

Large hidden costs for your spouse

Another sign you should pay attention to is if phone credit card statements and bills are not making their way home. It’s probably because there are calls and items on them that they don’t want you to see. So, if you haven’t seen these things, it’s probably because your partner thinks you are onto them. Partners of unfaithful men tend to see the credit card statements and notice items paid for like fur coats and golden bracelets that they didn’t receive.

4. Talking About A Particular Person All The Time

If your partner starts talking about someone a lot, especially in a derogatory and non-flattering way, it could be that they are trying to deflect you away from that person.

5. They Are Obsessed With Themselves

Experts have claimed that most cheaters are narcissists. So, if your spouse lacks empathy and portrays traits of self-absorption, then they might be more likely to cheat. People like that thrive off of attention, and they might prioritize a new love interest over your feelings.

6. They Are Greedy

People who cheat tend to believe that the grass is greener on the other side. This is why they relish exploring other options.

7. They Accuse Their Partners Of Cheating

It’s a typical sign of a guilty conscience. Because they are experiencing the urge to have an affair, they put you in that same boat. Paranoia is a typical sign to look out for if you are trying to spot a possible cheat. Reliable, honest lovers will most likely never doubt you since they do not doubt themselves.

8. Flirting

one of the signs of cheating if your husband is flirting with someone at work

Cheaters enjoy flirting with every attractive person they come across, and they may do so right in front of you. People like that get a thrill out of flirting. They might perceive it as an invitation to get intimate and it can eventually lead them to cheat on you.

9. They Are Deceitful

If they have lied before, it’s likely that they will lie again. You need to be careful and watchful as this will give you an insight into their ethical code. Lying is a very serious sign of possible cheating on your spouse. It is worth noting that not everyone that lies is a cheat, – but every cheat is a liar.

10. Changes In Appearance

Has your partner started paying more attention to how they look? If you notice that they’ve started shopping for new and more stylish clothes, or clothes that make them look younger, then they might be cheating on you. Cheaters often try to improve their appearance to impress their new lover.

11. Changes In Sexual Behavior

This issue can manifest in two ways. If your partner is cheating and discovering new sexual tricks, they might want to try some of them out with you. And sometimes, they might have no sexual interest in you at all. If your partner is introducing new sexual tricks and positions into your relationship, it is only normal that you wonder where they’ve learned those tricks from. If your partner shows no interest at all in intimacy with you, it is also normal for you to wonder if they are getting sex from someone else. In certain cases where a physical affair has transformed into a love affair, the person cheating might refuse sex with their partner due to guilty feelings and them ironically not wanting to be unfaithful to their affair partners.

12. Becoming Short-tempered

When a partner starts cheating, they may become short-tempered and less tolerant of family members. They may start to snap at things that didn’t really bother them before. A cheating partner is likely to start arguments over little issues just to create a detachment from their partner. Creating that emotional distance between them and their partner helps to relieve them of any guilt that they may feel. It also helps them justify their act of cheating since they are now detached from their spouse. They may also start arguments to provide justification for leaving the house and staying out late. What better excuse to go out and hang with another man or woman than an argument?

13. Their Friends Start Behaving Oddly

Not only will the cheating spouse’s behavior change, but that of the friends who know and are covering for the cheating partner will also change. Rest assured, you will immediately pay attention to this sign. You should pay attention to how his/her friends behave when they are with you. Knowing exactly what to look out for and ending the affair quickly plays a big role in whether or not your relationship survives the affair. Also, knowing what exactly to look out for and putting together evidence quickly will help you decide whether or not you should file for divorce.

What To Do If Your Spouse Cheated On You?

What to do if your spouse is really cheating

If your cheating spouse has been caught: don’t get angry. Just say “it’s ok“, take some time off work so that you can figure out what needs to change without making things worse for yourself or anyone else in the relationship (including yourself), and get back into work as soon as possible. Don’t try to control him/her or tell him/her what he/she must do; instead just be yourself and let nature take its course. Nothing good comes from falling into an abusive pattern like this one again – especially if it means your relationship could end up being damaged beyond repair because both sides were too emotionally invested in the unhealthy pattern to see how nasty it was for each other until it was too late.

Frequently Asked Questions

If your partner does cheat on you, it is a bad sign for your relationship and your marriage.

Is cheating hereditary?

There’s some research that proposes that cheating could be genetic. According to these researches, people can absorb traits and behaviors like cheating, from their parents.

What causes people to cheat?

The motivations for extramarital engagements are vast and can differ by gender. There are also reasons like revenge, lack of commitment, boredom, unhappiness/Dissatisfaction, feeling unappreciated, etc.

What are the characteristics of a cheating husband?

He shows a complete lack of interest in you, he develops a mysterious aloofness, he appears distant, he wears cologne more frequently than usual, he comes back home smelling of a strange fragrance, he stops wearing his wedding ring, etc.

How do cheaters feel about themselves?

The number one justification for cheating is that people believe they deserve to be happy and if they can’t get happiness from their partners, they’ll go somewhere else to get it.

1 thought on “13 Signs Of A Cheating Spouse”

  1. For years a lot of people were scared to tell the truth about their cheating spouses. They were afraid that their cheating spouse would just get even worse. I think that you should talk about adultery as soon as you notice any signs… Believe me, you will avoid many mistakes.

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