Psychology of Cheating

Narcissist and Cheating

For several causes that represent divergent psychodynamic processes, narcissists cheat on their partners, commit adultery, and have numerous emotional affairs and liaisons. But the nicest part about this practice is that no matter how talented the narcissist is, they can’t hide it.

In this post, we will be talking about narcissist and affairs, personality disorder and narcissist cheating patterns, how to deal with cheating, etc.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Cheating

First, it’s crucial to differentiate between the diagnostic Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the characteristics of narcissism because “narcissism” has become a buzzword in recent years. One can exhibit narcissistic features while not meeting the diagnostic criteria for NPD.

In general, persons with narcissistic qualities have inflated views of themselves, are manipulative, are self-absorbed, or very egotistical. Most humans are capable of modest narcissism, which is necessary for survival. However, displaying features to some degree does not qualify as pathological narcissism or NPD, according to “Theoretical models of narcissism, sexuality, and relationship commitment”, Journal of Social and Personál Relationships.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

High degrees of ego is a hallmark of Narcissistic Personality Disorder; however, pathological narcissists can also exhibit other symptoms. Manipulation, frequent falsehoods and exaggerations, entitlement, a need for continual affirmation, frequent boundary breaches, rule-breaking, and other behaviors are examples. These characteristics will probably make it difficult for the person to manage their behavior and preserve healthy friendships, family, and romantic connections. They could also find it difficult to function well in professions with lesser levels of control without being often reprimanded.

How to Know If a Narcissist Is Cheating on You    

You may avoid a lot of possible suffering and heartbreak by being aware of the narcissism and infidelity indicators and learning to determine whether your spouse is cheating on you. You should be cautious of the following narcissist cheating signs:

Lying at Every Opportunity

There is a natural tendency for a narcissist to lie about their qualifications, successes, and, worst of all, extramarital affairs. This practice gets ingrained in narcissists for a variety of reasons.

In most situations, narcissists lie to exploit others and keep them “under their spell.” Unfortunately for their victims, narcissists use this technique to undermine their self-esteem and entice their prey into satisfying their desires.

In severe circumstances, the narcissist will lie at every opportunity. They avoid reality and live in a fantasy world. Even when confronted with their lies, it provides an ideal chance for them to lie even more. They want to seem superior constantly and have everything under control.

Flirting and Sexting on Social Media

It’s impossible to tell what’s going on in a narcissist’s DMs. They may, however, follow you on some social media account, and no matter how hard they attempt to hide, social media has a propensity to draw them out.

Sometimes a narcissist can resist the impulse to flirt with someone of the opposing gender. And because this post is public, it tends to reveal them. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire,” as the adage goes.

Your spouse can claim they are only colleagues if you confront them. However, if they are openly flirting with another person on social media, it merely shows that they have little regard for you or concern.

Unreasonably Accuses You of Cheating

“The best defender is a good attacker.”

There are several covert narcissist cheating patterns, and they play offense when you begin decoding them.

In most situations, this is just to divert attention from the real problem; otherwise, they may falsely accuse you of cheating. False accusation is a narcissist’s defensive strategy, and it is a narcissist cheating sign that they employ to play the victim and fool you.

Sudden Changes in Behavior and Communication

Communication is the key to a happy relationship. When your narcissistic partner begins to cheat, they change the locks that those keys open. When your partner’s behavior begins to change, this is the most typical evident hint that they are cheating on you. They could start being sly and arriving home late or might stop picking up calls while you’re nearby.

If you see any unexpected behavior changes implying cheating or infidelity and your intuition tells you things are not going well, you may be correct.

They Stop Talking About Work and Friends

In some cases, when two lovers talk, the dialogue is meaningless. But what makes the whole event interesting is that both sides are having a good time. You both chat about your friends, work, and other things that would mean nothing to you if you didn’t have a love link, and these talks keep a lot of things together.

One of the many obvious signs of a cheating narcissist is a loss of interest in discussing friends and work. When that begins to manifest, that’s the flag.

Often Cancels or Postpones Plans

“They don’t become too busy; their priorities change.”

As psychology says, when a narcissist cancels arrangements at the last minute because they have other plans, it might be a hint that they are cheating on you, regardless of whether you are dating or married to one.

They can claim that it’s because of workplace engagements or another pressing matter that arose. Even while it could be the case occasionally, it signals infidelity if it occurs frequently.

Disappears and Does Not Tell You Their Whereabouts

This is the most difficult aspect of living with a narcissistic husband cheating all the time. You can opt to ignore their social media flirt with others, but the situation could escalate to the point where they disappear without explaining their whereabouts.

When this begins to happen, it is a sign that the individual is hiding something, and you should believe your instincts if you feel he is a cheating boyfriend.

Show Their Jealousy in an Aggressive Manner

Narcissists have the delusion that anybody can behave like them. Although jealousy is an insatiable instinct in people, it becomes a cause for concern when it gets overly aggressive. Narcissists are easily provoked and jealous, and they become too violent when they are.

How to Catch a Narcissist Cheating

While having an open, honest conversation and confronting a narcissist cheating conduct is usually the best line of action, it doesn’t always provide honest outcomes when dealing with a serial cheating narcissist. The horrible, nagging sensation in the pit of your stomach is what some individuals find to be problematic when they believe their partner is cheating on them. Even if you identify the warning signs, you cannot present a case without proof.

Catch a Narcissist Cheating

Because of continually changing technology, while it’s very easy to cheat, it’s also never been easier to catch a cheater. Spending a lot of money on a covert spy to assist you in shooting videos and photos is now outdated. All you need to do now is install reliable spyware on your partner’s phone to reveal narcissist cheating and lies.

The spyware will act covertly and give you access to features like call monitoring, text messages, social media apps, GPS location, and lots more. This information can be accessed remotely from the spyware’s dashboard, and you will have all you need to make your case.

How to Deal with a Cheating Narcissist

You might have asked yourself the million-dollar question: “Will a narcissist ever admit to cheating?” This answer depends on the narcissist’s habit and what they benefit from you. Regardless, there are many ways to deal with a cheating narcissist. Some of the best ways are:

Letter to Cheating Narcissist

The most dependable alternative to verbal conflict is to send a letter. This letter should not be the typical one in which you inquire about their cheating habits. If you do this, you will open the door for them to deny and make excuses. The letter should be direct and include all your findings suggesting the person is cheating.

That way, they won’t have a chance to refute, fight, or make a big fuss about it. They are only left with one choice: determine what they want out of the relationship.

Leaving a Cheating Narcissist

When love costs you peace of mind, it is poisonous and not worth allowing yourself to be devoured inside. As much as you love your spouse, it is sometimes necessary to consider your mental health and the risks associated with remaining with a cheating narcissist.

With the dread of STDs, staying with someone you know is sleeping around with multiple partners is not a good idea. If you are certain you are in a relationship with a cheating narcissist, the best thing to do is end the relationship, go for a divorce process and gradually heal from the grief.

How to Get Revenge on a Cheating Narcissist

It’s normal to desire to get back at a narcissist—they’re difficult to deal with, self-absorbed, and frequently resort to harsh personal assaults. How can you teach such a person a lesson? Most narcissists believe they are always correct, no matter what, and they barely have the humility to acknowledge they have offended you. There are, nonetheless, several creative techniques to get back at them. Some ways are:

  • Openly criticize them.
  • Make a solid move that will take authority away from them.
  • Listen to their tales to get you under their spell, then say NO to them.
  • Succeed in areas where they desire to be dominant.
  • Ignore them.

The Most Obvious Behavioral Patterns of the Cheating Narcissist

Some of the most apparent signs a narcissist is cheating on you are:

They Think the Whole World Owes Them

Narcissists are self-centered people who believe and act as though the world owes them something. They can be difficult to work with. They are never satisfied or content with what is offered and feel they deserve all the best things in the world.

They Cannot Control Their Behavior

Narcissists crave to be seen as the best in whatever they do, and when a person challenges their ability, they can lose control and act rationally just to prove a point.

They Always Have an Excuse for Everything

“Nobody is perfect” is not a phrase in the narcissist world. No matter how obvious their mistakes are, they always have an excuse for everything.

They Lower Your Self-Esteem

One of the best tricks in the narcissism book is to play the guilt card. With this trick, they can lower your self-esteem just so that you can appear intelligent and superior. You will find yourself trying to prove a point to them and working towards their desires.

They Make You Feel Unwanted

A serial cheater narcissist has the main aim to look superior, which comes at any cost. They can go to any extent to criticize you and make you feel unwanted, aiming to get the public’s love and sympathy.

They Deny Rumors About Themselves

Never admitting they are wrong is important to a narcissist’s protection system. They will go to any length to refute rumors about themselves and avoid being connected with any undesirable characteristics, even if the reports show otherwise.

They Intimidate and Mislead You

Most narcissists are aware that they are merely wearing a mask and are not who they want the public to believe they are. So it saddens them to watch others attaining achievement that is not accessible to them. As a result, they will bully and mislead you so that you remain on a lesser level than them.

They Are Stubborn and Don’t Make Contact

The majority of cheating narcissists are stubborn and egotistical. They don’t contact you even though they miss you since it will hurt their pride.

Final Word: Do All Narcissists Cheat?

The bottom line is that not all narcissists cheat, but having NPD makes them more likely to be unfaithful to their relationship than the average individual. Likewise, you cannot generalize that all cheaters are narcissists. A cheater might just be a cheater but will not have the attributes of a narcissist. “Everyone has the potential to be self-centered from time to time; however, the narcissist seems incapable of operating in any other manner.”, Arlin Cuncic, MA, the author of “Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder“.

FAQ about Narcissism and Cheating

How to tell when a narcissist is cheating?

It is sometimes difficult to tell when a narcissist is cheating. However, some of the signs discussed in this post are clear signs of a cheating narcissist.

Why do narcissists accuse you of cheating?

Narcissists accuse you of cheating so that they can take your thoughts away from the real matter. This way, you will be more focused on proving that you are not cheating, giving space for them to cheat.

Will a narcissist ever admit to cheating?

It is almost impossible for a narcissist wife cheating to admit to betraying. Even when shown all the evidence and proof that there is no room for denial, they will start to play the guilt card and make excuses. In the case of a cheating girlfriend, the situation will be the same.

Do narcissists feel guilty for cheating?

Despite your best efforts, you still have a guilt button inside of you as a human. Although they might quickly go back to their illusions and lie to themselves that the cheating was not their fault just to make themselves feel happy. Since narcissists want the world to view them as ideal, they will feel terrible if caught cheating.

Do narcissists cheat in marriage?

Being a narcissist does not necessarily mean they can cheat in marriage. The fear of being caught cheating and the disgrace that comes with it can stop them from cheating.

What is a covert narcissist?

A covert narcissist is someone who is narcissistic but does not exhibit the grandiose sense of worth that is commonly associated with narcissism.

Author Sergius Gardner

Sergius Gardner


People with signs of Narcissism may have problems with their emotions and may have difficulty controlling their emotions. Do not accuse these people of cheating until you have 99% proof.