How to Deal with a Cheating Partner

There are various ways to deal with a cheating boyfriend that you love. Read on to find out. 

How to Deal with Cheating on Someone You Love

When someone has cheated on their relationship, they often try to play the victim card. It’s better to pass the buck and let someone else bear the repercussions of your infidelity than to carry your cross and take the blame for your actions. What to do when you cheat on the person you truly love? The following tips will help you deal with cheating on someone you love.

Gather Evidence of Adultery

As difficult as dealing with a cheating partner may be, confronting your behaviors head-on can help you move past them. This could include opening out to your partner about it, but it’s also crucial that you treat yourself to some empathy from their side. To do this, you should collect evidence of your adultery and show it to your significant other. Such evidence may include the flirting text you sent out, pictures of you kissing another person, etc. 

This isn’t always the greatest course of action, though, as your partner may lack the attention span to stay with you for the duration of the discussion.

Take a Test or Quiz

Starting a new relationship is the best decision you ever make until you start cheating on that same partner that you so much loved. Taking a cheating quiz could help you figure out why you cheated on your soulmate if you’re having trouble pinpointing the exact cause.

Be Honest About Why It Happened

A study on the psychology of cheating spouses indicates that there are a number of different reasons. Learning why you cheated can help you make better future decisions about how to handle cheating issues.

“Most cheating occurs when one partner is trying to fill a void in the other’s life that isn’t being met in the relationship; infidelity is a passive-aggressive approach to addressing this problem.”, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel says. The decision to cheat indicates that you and your spouse are fundamentally incompatible.

On the contrary, if you believe that you could be committed to your partner if certain things changed in your relationship (such as if you received more attention or had more sex), then you and your loved one can iron things out and make the relationship work.

Don’t Put a Time Limit on the Pain

A wound, so the saying goes, will heal with time. Avoid rushing things, and give yourself time to recover from the hurt you’ve suffered. The emptiness you feel after cheating on the one you love the most will not go away quickly. Grieving is a private and lengthy experience. Breaking up with someone or becoming involved in some bizarre habits won’t make you feel better; at best, they’ll be a temporary distraction.

Take Time for Yourself and Don’t Blame Yourself

It is important that you make time for yourself, even if you have decided to go on with your spouse after cheating on them, and look past the past to move forward, even though you cheated on them.

Taking some time off will allow you to relax and regroup. It will give you time to think things over and lament the action. Relationship issues, such as a drop in sexual activity, might result from the trauma of trying to make things work even when you know you have not entirely become the person you were before you cheated.

It is normal to go through some depression after cheating, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Yes, you cheated, but the most important thing is that you realize you made a mistake and are willing to change for good.

Decide What You Want Out of Your Relationship

You should take time to weigh the pros and cons of continuing your relationship with your significant other once you have decided to quit cheating on them. You need to be very forthright with yourself about what you want and need from a partner going forward, whichever way your leanings may be.

Remove the Temptation for Serial Cheating

If you’ve cheated on your partner before and weren’t caught, you might be tempted to do it again. Despite your best intentions, you may still give in to your cheating tendencies, even after committing to end the behavior. Try as much as possible to do away with the temptation of serial cheating.

While it may be easier said than done, support groups can help you quench the thirst of being a serial cheater.

Learn to Confront Your Cheating Partner

If you cheated on your loved one because you found out they cheated on you, you could try to fix things by finding a diplomatic way to confront with a cheating partner. This way, you both can talk things out and decide if you can give the relationship another chance.

However, when you confront a cheater, there is a very high probability that they might deny your claims, especially if they are not committed to turning a new leaf. 

What You Shouldn’t Do If Your Partner Cheated on You

Some people have gone to the internet to ask the popular question: “Is cheating a crime?” While there are many opinions on that topic, it does not eliminate the fact that it is very painful to realize that you are being cheated on.

Coping with a cheating spouse takes more than a day job. The anger and pain of being cheated on are almost unbearable, but it is always important to think things through and get a hold of the situation. While you might have a lot of questions to ask a cheating partner, below are things you shouldn’t do if your loved one cheats on you:

Don’t Try to Get Back at Your Partner

You might feel inclined to exact vengeance to deal with emotional cheating. You could feel like getting even by cheating on your lover, perhaps even in a very public way.

Although this may provide some temporary relief, it is not a great plan. If there is already one nasty character on the scene, try not to be the second one. Using violence to stop violent behavior never works. Stay away from the need to take revenge. It’s unfair that you be held accountable for the same crime as the person you accused of cheating.   

Do Not Succumb to a State of Victimhood

While attempting to understand why your lover cheated, you may end up placing some of the blame on yourself. Am I not very good in bed? Did I not pay enough attention? These are some of the many questions you may start asking yourself.

It’s natural to feel this way after discovering your partner was unfaithful, but it will only make you look worse. Don’t give in to a victim mentality; instead, work on bolstering your self-assurance. Blaming yourself will just make you feel worse, so try not to do that. Remember that you did your part, and your spouse fell short.

Do Not Involve Children or Parents

Love and cheating are two different topics that require different approaches. Parents are subconsciously blinded by the love they have for their children. So in cases like this, they might fuel the issue and make it bigger than it already is. So the best thing to do is not to get parents involved. 

It is also important to keep such matters away from your children’s ears. They shouldn’t carry the burden and fear of whether or not their parents might get a divorce, as it may affect them in many ways.

Don’t Let Someone Else Solve Your Problems (Except the Experts)

People will only feel sorry for you if they learn about your situation. Many of the people you confide in will offer you unsolicited, unhelpful advice or make gloomy comments because they just don’t understand what you’re going through. 

Except in extreme cases where you need an expert’s help, a family business is best left within the family. You’ll feel compelled to tell some people about it, but don’t give in to such temptation! 

Don’t Try to Go Back to the Way Things Were Before; It Is Impossible

It’s human nature to want things to get back to normal after addressing a cheating issue. However, this can be a lengthy process. It’s best if you just accept infidelity as a fact of life and put your efforts into fixing things instead of dwelling on the past.

Even while it’s probable that you’ll suffer flashbacks to the trauma in the future, you shouldn’t use the cheating memory as a weapon against your spouse.

Don’t Jump to Conclusions, You Need Time

When one person has been the victim of infidelity, the other is bound to experience a wide range of emotions, and the mind will be flooded with a series of questions to ask a cheating partner. Try not to make any hasty judgments or jump to conclusions as you process these ideas. 

Not everything is what it seems. There are multiple ways to find out if someone is cheating on you. Take some time off and walk through your options. 

However, it is important to note that coping with a cheating wife or husband is a complex matter, but even if you eventually go for a divorce, take your time to process things. 

How to Move on After Cheating on Your Spouse

If you and your partner are committed to making things work, here are some tips to help you move on after cheating on your spouse:

Try to Take Care of Yourself

Despite the cause of the issue that tempted you to cheat in the first place, admit that you made the wrong choices and decided to cheat. Work on yourself and address the issue that must have prompted the infidelity. 

Learn the Principles of Building Healthy Relationships

Allow yourself to learn the principles of building a healthy relationship. You might begin a conversation on the qualities you enjoy about your soulmate. You should also be open to discussing your company and whereabouts. The greatest strategy for this is to stop keeping things from them.

Your partner’s feelings of betrayal and subsequent mistrust are very reasonable. Recognize their pain and make up for the trust you’ve broken. Don’t assume your spouse will immediately regain trust in you. However, you can work to earn their trust again over time.

Restore Trust Step by Step

It takes time to gain lost trust, but you need to be physically and mentally fit to take on the challenge. It is necessary to invest in trying to restore trust by being open and honest about the incident. 

Final Thought

You may have been secretly or openly having some relationship issues. Though it may have seemed fantastic at the time, cheating almost always causes problems in a couple’s relationship. Some of us start to use apps to catch a cheater, and some – try to close their eyes on the lie. 

There are many ways to deal with a cheating spouse. Sometimes it requires openness and honesty. Being open and honest with oneself and one’s partner takes guts. You and your partner can maintain your commitment to one another or part ways if you can’t get over being cheated on. If you’re concerned about developing a pattern of serial cheating, you should get help.