How to Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating Online
Unfortunately, infidelity is a common occurrence in both married and non-married couples these days. And it’s even easier than ever in the technology era because of inventions like smartphones and computers.
If you suspect that your partner is having an affair, there are many steps that you can take to follow your hunch and uncover the truth, which we’ll be discussing in this article.
Without further ado, here’s everything you need to know about how to catch a cheater:
How to Find Out If Someone Is Cheating: Red Flags to Notice
It’s easy to lie, but it’s hard to keep a lie going for long, which is why cheaters end up displaying signs of their infidelity eventually. Here are some signs if someone is cheating on you:
Their Phone Becomes “Off-Limits” Suddenly
If your partner takes their phone with them everywhere, even to the bathroom, and starts getting angry every time you touch their device, it may indicate infidelity. That’s because they know that messages from the affair partner can come anytime.
Remember that this behavior is only significant if it starts happening out of nowhere. If your loved one has always been hooked to their phone all the time, it doesn’t mean that they’re cheating.
They Refuse to Share Their Smartphone’s Password
Nowadays, it’s natural for everyone to protect their phone with a password. After all, that can come in handy in case of theft. That said, if your partner has only recently started protecting their smartphone with a password, acting as if a bomb would go off the moment you touch their phone, it may be a sign of cheating.
They’re Actively Using a Dating Site
If one of your friends finds your partner’s profile on a dating site like Tinder, make sure to check if the profile has been updated recently.
To do that, check the latest posts and the photos to see if they’re recent ones. If that’s the case, you may need to have a word with your beau. Keep in mind that if everything is outdated in the profile, it may be an old page that your partner forgot to delete after meeting you.
You can go the extra mile here to clear any doubt by creating a fake profile and trying to match with your spouse. If they do match with you and send you a message, they’re on the hook.
You may have noticed that your partner isn’t showing you the kind of affection and love they used to. They may justify that with things like work or other problems, but if that emotional distance has been going on for a long or if it started suddenly even though nothing really changed in their life, it may be cause for concern.
You Have a Hunch That Your Partner Is Cheating
You may get a hunch that your loved one is having an affair because what they say doesn’t add up with what actually happens. After all, lies are hard to keep straight, and if your partner says they need to do something that doesn’t happen or says that they’ve been with someone and that someone denies it, they may be trying to hide a lie.
Your Partner Does Not Spend Enough Time with You
Has your spouse’s schedule started becoming full of “work meetings” and “business trips” all of a sudden? Have they been avoiding you and putting the blame on “being busy with work”? Have they been frequently unreachable for long periods, no matter which communication channel you use, because they’re “drowning” in work?
If the answer is yes, then either they’ve got a promotion, and they’re keeping it as a surprise, or they’ve started seeing somebody, and they’d rather spend their time with their new love interest.
Ask your partner about it and see how they answer. If they get flustered and pretend they’re too stressed to talk about it, or they come up with something needlessly detailed, they may be waving a huge red flag.
Try to get in touch with someone from your husband’s work to see if they’ve been spending more time at the office as well or if anything happened recently that can explain the sudden schedule changes.
They Begin to Be Increasingly Critical of You
One of the ways cheaters use to rationalize their behavior (in their own minds, of course) is to put the blame on you. Cheaters do that to reduce what’s called cognitive dissonance, which is the uncomfortable state of inner tension that’s created when a person’s belief (cheating is wrong) is the opposite of what they’re doing (adultery).
So, how can you spot that?
Suddenly, your partner becomes increasingly critical of you, stating that you don’t look the same as you did when you got together or that your sexual life isn’t as adventurous as it used to be. They may even say that you don’t appreciate the things they do for you, meaning that they deserve to enjoy their life outside of your relationship.
If that happens, and you feel like nothing you do is right all of sudden or as if your beau is pushing you away, it may mean that they’re committing infidelity.
How to Know If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating: Active Steps
Catch a Cheating Wife
Catch a Cheating Girlfriend
Here are some signs girls usually display when they’re having an affair (which you can use to find a cheating wife as well):
Notice How She Is Dressed
Sometimes, a person may start looking after themselves aesthetically as part of a new year’s resolution or for any other valid reason. Still, when they do that, they’re usually open about it. After all, there’s nothing wrong with that.
If your partner starts wearing cologne or spending wads of cash on new clothes all of a sudden, however, it may be cause for questioning.
Ask Yourself: Is Your Girlfriend Still Actively Interested in Your Life?
When you come back from work late at night, there’s nothing better than chilling with your spouse and talking about the boring events that happened during the day. If your loved one has suddenly stopped enjoying those moments and is no longer showing interest in your life, you may be dealing with a cheater with new interests, specifically romantic and sexual ones.
Check How You Are Recorded on Their Phone
Has your partner suddenly changed your name on her phone from “honey” or “baby” to something boring like your full name (not to say that your name is boring, but who registers their romantic partner using their full name?)
If she has done that, she may be trying to hide you from her affair partner, or she’s simply no longer feeling the connection she used to feel your way. Either way, another man may be in the picture, so you might want to investigate it.
How to Find Out If He’s Cheating on His Girlfriend with You
If you suspect that you’re the affair partner of a cheating spouse or boyfriend and you’re wondering, “how to see if my boyfriend is cheating?” here are some signs to look out for.
Look Where He Spends His Money
As we’ll see later in this article, checking how your partner spends their money can be a great way to know if they’re cheating on you, but it can also be an excellent way to see if you’re their affair partner.
Where does your alleged boyfriend spend his money? Do his grocery expenses exceed what a man living alone would need? Do his bank transactions include clothes and jewelry that you’ve never got? Does he book flights for a single person or a family?
Catch a Cheating Husband
Catch a Cheating Boyfriend
If you see anything suspicious in his transactions, invite him to talk. Maybe he’s spending his money on grandma. Or maybe everything’s going to his real girlfriend or wife. Only you can uncover that.
You Stop Visiting Public Places
Has your partner turned down any requests to meet in a public place, indicating that they’d rather meet at yours or his to feel more comfortable?
If so, you may be the paramour in his relationship. After all, his refusing to meet with you in public places may be out of fear of bumping into his girlfriend or someone who knows him.
He Seems Nervous Around You
Does your supposed partner only feel comfortable when you’re engaging in sexual activities but can’t keep his calm when you’re just chilling?
If that’s the case, you may be nothing more than his affair partner. Ask him to meet in public, preferably someplace near his house or apartment, and see his reaction. If he starts stressing out and coming up with unbelievable excuses not to do it while also suggesting that he can visit at yours, as usual, he may have to explain some things to you.
How to Find Out If Your Spouse Is Cheating: Active Steps
Here are some ways to investigate your partner if you suspect they’ve had trysts behind your back. First, we’ll explore how to find out if your spouse is cheating online for free. Then, we’ll go over some offline ways to know whether someone is having an affair.
PS: These tips can be used to find a cheating husband or wife as well.
Check Your Partner’s Phone If You Have Access to It
This is the easiest way to check if someone is cheating. After all, we put all of our lives on our phones, so if there’s proof of infidelity, it has to be there.
Check Their Messages
Start by checking any messaging apps on the phone, like iMessenger and Whatsapp, as well as social media apps, like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat.
Look for Suspicious Apps
See if your partner has any dating apps installed.
Search for Suspicious Photos
Are there any photos of people you don’t know in there?
Don’t forget to take a look at their trash folder, both on their computer and smartphone. If you find any incriminating photos, you can kick your partner to the curb.
One other piece of advice here: check the cloud. After all, if your spouse is hiding pics, selfies, and other unfaithful memories, they’ll definitely be in their cloud storage, whether it be iCloud, Google Drive, Dropbox, or anything else.
Check Their Contacts
Next, check their contacts as well as their call logs. Any particular number they’ve been calling way too often?
You can use TrueCaller or Reverse Phone Lookup App to find the true owner of a certain phone number. After all, Aunt Mary, whom your spouse has been reconnecting with for weeks now, may be none other than their secretary, Michelle.
For Tech-Savvy Cheaters
If you want to go the extra mile to know whether your partner is being unfaithful, you can check if they’re using some of the unusual communication techniques between secret lovers, like shared Notes apps, shared Google Docs, or draft emails on shared email accounts. Yep, some tech-savvy cheaters do use those methods.
Check All Your Friends on Social Media
You’d be surprised how much your friends on social media may know about your partner that you aren’t aware of. After all, friends sometimes notice more than we do because our trust and love for our partners often blind us.
When investigating a possible case of infidelity, ask some of your friends on social media if they’ve noticed something suspicious about your spouse’s behavior online, such as flirtatious exchanges between them and someone else on Facebook or Instagram.
Ask Their Friends Direct Questions
If your other half is cheating, chances are his friends already know about the infidelity right from the start. Even your friends are more likely to know before you do. That knowledge usually causes these individuals to feel uncomfortable around you and stop inviting you to events and gatherings.
If that’s the case for you, swallow the pill and ask his friends and yours if they know anything about an affair going on. They may answer directly, or they may get stressed out and try changing the subject. Either way, the answer is clear.
Check Their Bank Statements
If you have a joint bank account, this would be easy. If you don’t have one, you can check any transactions they’ve made through apps like PayPal, Groupon, etc. Simply search for transactions you don’t recognize, especially for items like jewelry, lingerie, hotel reservations, restaurant bills, etc. Take a screenshot or make a copy of anything suspicious, as they may get rid of it later on.
Install an App to Catch Cheaters
There are many apps that you can use to catch a cheating partner. We highly recommend that you only use this as a last resort method if you’re almost sure your partner is cheating on you. Otherwise, it would be highly unethical, if not illegal.
Here’s a non-comprehensive list of the apps that you can use to catch a cheater:
- Keyloggers: keyloggers, as the name indicates, register all the keystrokes on a computer’s keyboard. In other words, once you install one on your spouse’s computer, you’ll be able to see the passwords they use, the messages they send, the pages they visit, and everything else they do with their device.
- Cocospy: Cocospy app can be installed on your partner’s smartphone to give you access to everything they do. Keep in mind that there are possible legal ramifications if they decide to take action against you.
- Alexa: Alexa, or any other virtual assistant, can be used to catch cheaters by recording surroundings. To activate this feature, go to the Alexa Privacy section of the settings and select “Help improve Amazon services and develop new features.” Remember that we don’t recommend this, as Amazon will also have access to those recordings.
Is Cheating of a Partner Normal?
Infidelity may or may not be a normal behavior depending on the person. The keyword here is “normal” because cheating is always wrong and unethical.
What we mean by that is that cheating is normal in the way that it’s pretty common among all age groups. So, if you’ve cheated on your partner or you’ve been cheated on, you’re not alone.
Affairs can include any of the following:
- One-night stands
- Compulsive sexual behavior
- Emotional cheating
- Sexing and online flirtation
Cheating may be caused by a plethora of reasons, and they differ depending on whether the infidelity is done online or in person.
Causes of online cheating:
- interest in trying new sexual behaviors
- getting bored of the current relationship
- personal sexual desire
Causes of in-person cheating:
- low satisfaction in the existing relationship
- low romantic love
- personal sexual desire
Sometimes, people cheat to get attention or have revenge on their partner. Other times, they may cheat when their inhibitions are lowered because of drugs or alcohol.
What to Do If You Discover Your Partner Has Been Cheating
Discovering that your partner has been cheating on you can be really distressing, and for a good reason. After all, the person you trust the most has broken their bond with you. It’s highly unethical, and there’s no excuse for it. Here are some tips that can help you cope if you find out your boyfriend is cheating:
- Give yourself some time to process the shocking news and the follow-up emotions.
- Talk to your loved one so that you can assess what happened, even if that proves to be too painful. Ask them to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth.
- Ask questions if you have any, but try to focus on the facts rather than your interpretations.
- Take some time to decide what should happen next.
- Seek professional help if needed.
A Warning About an Unreasonable Termination of a Relationship
Keep in mind that although your partner may be displaying signs of infidelity, they may be actually caused by something else, like work-related problems, mental issues, etc.
So, before ending your relationship based on a hunch, you might want to sit down with your partner and see if they’ve been going through something lately.
If nothing is going on, and they get nervous, try to avoid your questions, or seem confused, there could be something more to the matter, and your gut feeling might be correct.
All of this is to say that you mustn’t do something that you’ll regret for the rest of your life just because you suspect your partner is being unfaithful.